Divorce, Tinder & Staying Hopeful

I’m feeling a bit sassy.

I’m using my first personal blog post to rant a bit about the sanctity of marriage in today’s culture (don’t start snoring just yet!) I began writing a post about French bulldogs (don’t worry – you’ll be blessed with that next week) but this topic struck a chord with me after flipping through a recent issue of People Magazine. INSIDE THEIR TOXIC MARRIAGE is stretched across a photo of Amber Heard and Johnny Depp, with subheads of abuse allegations and rumors of anticipated spousal support. “That’s a shame,” I say shaking my head, turning the page. Among a collage of Kardashians, KHLOE FINALLY FILES FOR DIVORCE is teasing readers to continue on to page 75. The pages of even (what I consider to be) the most reputable of tabloids are littered with pieces devoted to divorce and “heartbreakingly unexpected splits.”

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I’m not famous and I’m not married. I don’t know the pressures that come along with either, but it doesn’t stop me from wondering why almost every celebrity couple admits defeat within 15 months and supposedly 50% of marriages in the United States end in divorce.

You’ve heard that statistic, right? According to The New York Times, that’s false – and the divorce trend is in decline! Sounds great right? Eh. The decline comes from the sad fact that fewer people are getting married.

I’m not sure if it’s because my parents have been married for 32 years (and that they set a beautiful example of what lasting love should look like) or if it’s because I’m hopeful enough to truly believe in soul mates, love at first sight and all that mushy stuff – but I have the utmost respect for marriage.

I dream of the day I get to exchange vows with my soul mate. What bums me out is the complete lack of respect my generation has for marriage and loyalty in general. It’s hard to be a hopeless romantic in the age of an ego-obsessed hook-up culture.

I cringe at the thought of tinder and giving your body to someone who doesn’t know your favorite colors, your favorite dog breed, or how you take your coffee.

Relationships these days are muddled down with insecurity and usually social media takes the blame. Courting has become “talking,” in which you’re together (kind of) but you’re allowed to talk to other people (if you want) though your mostly interested in the one person (unless they don’t feel the same.) What the hell is that!? It’s a one-way street to disappointment and broken expectations.

I love the quote, “you can’t rush something that’s meant to last forever.” Why is marriage currently viewed as nothing more than the obligatory next step in a relationship? It shouldn’t be rushed or accepted bleakly. It should be welcomed, passionately.

I understand that sometimes, divorce is the best thing to happen to a couple. I realize that there are other things in life aside from love. At the end of the day, it’s not a decreased percentage in divorces that we seek – it’s an increased percentage of quality marriages.

I hope the millennial generation finds optimism in the institution of marriage but only chooses to go forth if they can truly commit to the content of their vows. I hope ya’ll can faithfully and joyously still seek love.

Okay rant over – let’s get back to decorative dessert tables, tropical shower venues & trending groomsmen accessories, shall we?

xo meg

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