I’m writing this hours after returning home from Tuscaloosa, Alabama. A week long visit with my boyfriend in our new home was just what I needed to stay sane during our little long-distance stint. It’s only been a couple months, but life is way way way better spent with the one you love! In the midst of the best week ever, a boat load of engagements occurring on fourth of July, and the impending next step of our journey – I’ve been thinking about the qualities (I think) you should look for in your lifelong partner.
I absolutely dreaded leaving G a few months ago because we had never gone more than a week without seeing each other. Long distance scared me a bit, of course the initial (minor) worries of communication and fidelity crossed my mind. Because of who we are, I knew we would get through it and that it would be unfavored but doable. For me, It’s easier to focus on other things and stay busy, rather than mope around about whatever is bumming me out. I was completely unaware how much I actually missed him until I saw his car pull up at the Birmingham airport.
The moment I threw my carry on in the backseat and literally screamed (which spooked this poor little grandma loading her bags into the Prius in front of us) with joy, all the benefits of a long distance relationship flashed before my eyes. Everything was exciting; something as simple as holding his hand made my stomach flip – the little things that are often overlooked in a long term relationship were instantly renewed.
I can’t remember the last time it was just us: no school, no work, no football. We spent the week adventuring through T-Town, paddle boarding, jet-skiing and just enjoying each other’s company. While we were having the time of our lives, I couldn’t shake the little anxiety-inducing notion that soon enough, we’ll be living in Alabama – away from my family. Aside from college (which was a short 2 hour drive away) I’ve never lived away from my family. It’s a little nerve wracking, but the opportunity to be with the love of my life in such a beautiful new place – It’s something I won’t pass up.
I would only ever move across the country for the person whom I believe to be my soul mate. For athletes’ wives and girlfriends, sacrifices have to be made (that go beyond watching Sports Center or Real Housewives of Orange County) Your path may change, be sure it’s worth it. I encourage everyone in a similar situation to consider a couple core values – this is your life & as you know, it’s too short to regret.
FAITHFULNESS
Go beyond the general assumption of your significant other sliding into another person’s DM’s. Loyalty is obvious, but most necessary. Are they faithful to you and your goals as a couple? Do they work hard to better themselves and your relationship? One thing that set my current relationship apart from any other: from the beginning, I wanted to be the best I could be. For him and myself.
STRENGTH
Often uttered in the exchanging of vows: for richer or poorer, in sickness & in health. Is your significant other strong enough to carry you both through trials and tribulations? It breaks my heart to think of the day I lose one of my family members. Is your partner going to hold you during your worst, weakest moments? Will they be patient as you heal and rebuild? If they can carry you through the darkest of days with confidence and love – they’re the one.
ENCOURAGEMENT
I’ve always dreamed of writing for Vogue. As a freshman, I thought I had life figured out – I was thoroughly convinced that on graduation day senior year, I’d be taking a one-way flight to New York City hours after the ceremony ended. My future changed when I met G. I realized how much I value love in comparison to anything else. Something I am so grateful for – he’s always acknowledged and encouraged my dreams. When he decided he wanted to pursue a Masters degree and another year of football, he didn’t assume I was following. He never asked me to forgo my career in lieu of his own. I hope your significant other is just as encouraging and cheers you on even when you don’t know what’s coming next. I hope you find someone who will listen to you blab on and on about your passion (and add insight!)
HONOR
When you grow as a couple, you become a permanent team. You stick up for each other, fight for each other, and honor each other. You become super aware and even more responsible for your actions, because they affect another life as well. I think it’s incredibly important for couples (athletes, especially) to proudly speak of their significant others and deter all unwanted attention. Honor the one you love because they deserve pure loyalty and the utmost respect.
HONESTY
Everyone says the key to a good relationship is communication – but is lying, fibbing or over exaggerating not technically communicating? I ask my significant other to be honest even about the most trivial things. The simplest truths can benefit your relationship tenfold. Don’t tell me you went to Jimmy Johns for lunch then leave a Wendy’s wrapper in your car (I’m kidding.) Consequences aside, If something unexpected has occurred, inform your partner. There’s this quote that I kind of fell in love with on Pinterest.
The truth affects the past. A lie affects the future.
It’s such a good rule of thumb. Honesty and loyalty will be the absolute foundation of your relationship. I hope the one you call “the one” will nourish both excessively.
I’ve never felt this much happiness. I feel so blessed to be in this very moment of time: enjoying my final weeks with my family and looking forward to a new adventure with my boyfriend. Relish in finding someone who exceeds the little list of core values & makes long distance relationships worth it. I think the greatest thing on earth is to find your lifelong best friend & soul mate.
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