Hey Y’all! This is my first post since I joined you fellow brides-to-be & *wedding planners of America*

Following the engagement, I was surprised at the amount of people who asked for the date & location (hours after I said yes) – many people assume that because I blog weddings that I’ve got mine all figured out. NOPE! It’s so different when you’re planning your own wedding. You only get one shot (unless Gehrig realizes just how many homeless dogs I plan on bringing home..then he might jump ship – but) you want every detail to be perfect. The only details that have been set in stone so far are

1. I will be wearing a Hayley Paige gown

&

2. Our boys (the dogs) will be wearing navy tuxedos to match their dad

The major deets are still TBA, but as I continue researching the cutest wedding ideas, themes and decor, I can’t help but make mental notes of what I don’t want! Here are some trends that I’m so over:

transparent corset gowns

{à la Pnina Tornai}

*insert retching sounds*

If y’all have ever watched an episode of Say Yes to the Dress, you’ll know that Pnina Tornai is a coveted designer who creates intricate couture gowns. Brides are always fawning over see-through bodices and seeking out her sexy details. Personally, I’ve never understood the want to feel overly ~sexy~ on your wedding day – I mean you’re celebrating your commitment to one person in front of your family and friends! BTW – after digging into that delicious buffet, who wants their stomach on full display? Yes to feeling beautiful, but no to oddly placed cut-outs, plunging v-necks and transparent corset gowns.

geode cakes

My question is: who overlooked this design & allowed it to be photographed? Geodes have been in for like two years now, the gorgeous jewel tones & good vibes that accompany these pretty little rock formations have made them a big influence on 2016 wedding decor – however, the cake design? Eeeek. I’m not getting a tranquil, earthy vibe, I’m getting a gynecologist appointment vibe.

sequin bridesmaids dresses

Didn’t we agree to leave sequins back in 2015? Sequin bridesmaids dresses were a huge hit as metallic palettes had their moment, but please – no more disco ball bridesmaids. If you want your gals to stand out, use patterns or mismatched dresses instead!

DIY candy bars

“After six mixed drinks & four hours of dancing, I love grabbing a nice cellophane bag full of Peach Rings to satisfy my hunger!”

– Said no one ever.

Listen friends – your guests don’t want a customized paper brown bag filled with Jordan almonds and lemon heads. Skip the overdone candy bar trend and treat your guests to an assortment of mini desserts! Red velvet cupcakes > rock candy – I promise.

brooch bouquets

I am so annoyed at whoever told thousands of brides that a pile of mismatched, vintage BROOCHES was a better choice than a bouquet of fresh flowers. First off, how dare you. Second off, how heavy does that look!? Third – c’mon. Tacky + gaudy don’t even begin to cover it.

massive bridal parties

Omg enough with the 28 bridesmaids + groomsmen! Bridal parties should be your closest friends and family – not your twelve sorority sisters, your great grand little, your fiance’s brother’s girlfriend, your friend from summer camp, and your new neighbor. This is a special position reserved for those you hold near and dear to your heart. Am I just jealous that I only have 2.5 friends? Maybe. But everyone invited to your wedding should feel honored that they were picked to share this moment with you – you don’t need an excessive amount of ‘maids.

weird choreographed swing dance numbers

You know what’s awesome? Intimate, slow & smiley first dances. Also adored? Hilarious attempts at line dancing with your sweaty family members and kids. Weird and awkward for everyone to watch? Those overly choreographed random dance numbers that some brides and grooms decide to throw in to *impress* their guests. I’ve seen a few dance routines that ended in fumbling feet, missteps and angry whispering in one another’s ears while two very obvious untalented dancers try to blow their guests away. The only result is a lot of cringing and sympathy applause.

koozie favors

Maybe it’s just because my fiancé & I aren’t big drinkers, but i’m not into these. A koozie favor has a 5% chance of living longer than 3 months before it meets it’s ultimate demise {in the dumpster} Go for something edible, unique or skip it all together.

. . .

To each their own – what’s your least fav current wedding trend? Comment below!

{IMAGES: The Knot, Style Me Pretty Vault, Julie Paisley Photography}